Miracle
by LoveMariska08
Summary: Olivia Benson is fearless, or at least she was until William Lewis got a hold of her. Now that shes pregnant, her boyfriend, Brian Cassidy will do anything in his power to help Olivia recover from her traumatic experience.
1. Chapter 1

"No." Olivia sighed under her breath. She couldn't believe her eyes, she just took 3 pregnancy tests and they were all positive. Tears filled in her eyes, she hoped and prayed that the babies father was Brian and not Lewis. Lewis was a perp that Amanda Rollins had arrested 2 months ago and after a week in the court system, and when Olivia arrived at her empty apartment he was there, with a gun. Olivia tried her best to fight him off, for hours and hours he tortured her, he tied her to a chair or a bed, and touched her and slapped her around, but she couldn't fight him off anymore and she gave in.  
Olivia stood up and dried her tear stained face and returned to the couch next to Brian. His focus shifted to her.  
"Liv is everything ok?" He asked scooting closer to her. She sniffled and looked up at him.  
"Uh no, not really." Her heartbeat against her chest "Bri- I think I'm pregnant."  
Brian half smiled. "That's great, why are upset?"  
Liv shrugged. "Because I don't know if its yours or his." Brian look down and was visibly upset. "Honey, I'm so sorry." She moved her head on his chest.  
"Don't say sorry. It's not your fault that sick bastard ra-" He stopped himself from saying rape because he couldn't bare to think that Olivia was tortured. Brian lifted his head up and looked into Olivia's tear filled eyes. "Im so sorry I wasn't there to protect you Liv."  
She let out a sob and buried her head into his shoulder. "It was so awful." Every time Olivia closed her eyes she could see his evil face standing over her. Although, the nightmares had gone away she was still scared. She pulled her head away and after a moment of silent she spoke again. "Can we um-" Her voice stuttered. "Can you take a paternity test?"  
Brian gave her a sad smile, "Of course." His voice broke. "But Liv?"  
"Huh?"  
"Even if it is his and you want to keep it, I'll raise it like my own. Just because its dad is a horrible man doesn't mean it isn't lucky, if I had a women like you as my mother maybe I would've turned out half decent." He kissed her forehead. Olivia still flinches a little when he kissed her, even if it is on the forehead.  
"I love you Brian." She whispered leaning back.  
"I love you too."

2 Weeks Later:

Brian opened the door to the doctors office. Today was the day they would know who the father of the baby is.  
Olivia took a deep breath as she sat down waiting for the doctor. Her palms were sweating and her legs were shaking. The door opened and the doctor came in with a envelope in his hands.  
"Olivia, Brian, I have the results." He slowly opened the envelope. Olivia reached over and grabbed Brian's hand. "The father of the baby is-" He paused. Silence filled the room. Olivia squeezed Brian's hand harder as he pulled out the paper. "You, Brian."  
Olivia looked over at him with tears in her eyes and smiled. "Congratulations daddy." Brian let out a sigh of relief and smiled at her.  
"We're having a baby, Liv." He said after a moment.  
" ?" The doctor interrupted.  
"Yes?" "Would you like to see your baby."  
"Absolutely." She replied, moving on to the examination table. Brian grasped her hand, and gently stroked her hair with the other hand. Everyones eyes were glued to the screen as the doctor moved his wand around her bare stomach.  
"Ok, those are the baby's feet." He pointed to a spot on the monitor. "And his or hers hands." Brian lightly squeezed her hand, but Olivia just stayed silent.  
"Doctor?" Olivia finally said after a moment. He looked over at her. "Uh- why didn't the pregnancy show up on my uh-" She swallowed hard. "rape kit results?" She asked quietly.  
"You probably weren't far along, and honestly, its a miracle you didn't suffer a miscarriage." Olivia slowly nodded, a tear fell from her eyes and for the first time, in a while. They were happy and relieved tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia sat at her desk, staring off into space. It's been a week since she found out about the pregnancy and she wanted nothing more than to enjoy it, but with the flashbacks and the nightmares starting up again, all she wanted to do was hide and get away from everything.  
"Liv..." Amaro stood in front of her waving his hand trying to get her attention.  
"Oh- what?" She said turning her attention to him.  
"You okay?"  
"Uh yeah." She said. "What's up?"  
"Fin, Amanda and I are going for drinks. You coming?" Olivia slowly shook her head.  
"No, I can't-" She paused searching for a excuse. "Uh- I have to get some work done" she looked at her watch and sighed, it was almost 5 o'clock.  
"Oh okay. Well, have a good night." She gave him a slight smile and watched the 3 of them leave the precinct. Olivia looked down at the stack and stacks of paperwork she still had to finish, she picked up her pen and began working.  
"Benson." Captain voice came out of no where, she looked up. "It's getting late. Go home." Olivia looked down at her phone, it was almost 8 o'clock.  
"Shit." She whispered to herself.  
"Is everything okay?" Captain asked.  
"Yeah-" She bite her lip. "No, actually, I was suppose to be home an hour ago for dinner." She stood up and grabbed her things. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Once Olivia arrived at Brian's apartment, she immediately threw her coat and purse on the counter and walked into the living room to find him sleeping on the couch.  
"Bri-" She whispered. "Honey. Wake up." Olivia gently shook him awake. He slightly jumped when she shook him and then smiled when he saw her face.  
"Hey, baby." He whispered,sitting up. "I must've falling asleep waiting for you."  
"Yeah, sorry about that, I was finishing paperwork and lost track of time." She sat down next to him and there was a long pause of silence.  
"Did you tell Captain yet?" Brian asked, referring to the pregnancy.  
"No, " She sighed "I was going to but-" Her voice began to quiver, She turned her head away and tried to hide her tear filled eyes.  
"Honey, whats wrong?" Brian scooted closer to her, he gently rubbed her back.  
"I want to feel happy again." She said quietly. "I want to feel normal again." Tears escaped her eyes. "I mean, its been over 2 months since it happened and I still see is face, i still flinch with you kiss me, and-" She took a deep breath. "The nightmares are back." Brian's heart broke for her, all he wanted was to go bak and time and change what happened. All he wanted to do was save her.  
"Come here," He whispered, Liv rested her head on his chest. "You're safe now, and I will never let anything like that happen again to you or our baby." He could feel Liv's tears drip onto his shirt. He gently kissed the top of her head, trying to comfort her.  
"Bri?" She lifted her head up. "Thank you." She could see the confusion in her face. "For not leaving me. For never giving up on me. I can't imagine going through this without you." She gently grabbed Brian's hand and placed it on her stomach. "I'll tell Captain tomorrow, if you come with me."  
"Okay, I'll go." He smiled and gently kissed her forehead. "I love you, Liv. "  
"I love you too."

In the morning, Brian and Olivia had coffee together and then made their way to the precinct. Olivia held on tight to Brian's hand as they walked through the squad room and into Captain's office. He slightly smiled when they entered his office.  
"Olivia, Cassidy," He greeted them, his voice sounded worried. "What's up?"  
"Uh- Cap- I need to tell you something." She paused and looked at Brian, he gave her a reassuring smile and lightly squeezed her hand.  
"You can do it baby." He whispered.  
"Um, I- I-" She bite her tongue, trying to ignore the lump in her throat. "I found out last week that-" She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."  
Captain looked at her, then at Brian, then back at her again. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. There was a long moment of silence. "Uh- is it, um-" Captain was searching for the words to say Is it Lewis' but he couldn't bring himself to say his name.  
"Its mine." Brian cut in, as if he read Captain's mind. "The baby is mine." He gave Olivia a small smile. Captain let out a sigh of relief, and shook Brian's hand.  
"Congratulations," He said quietly. He gave Olivia a smile, and gently touched her arm, she slightly jumped.  
"I'm sorry." She said quietly, tears formed in her eyes again. "I'm sorry." She repeated.  
"No, Liv, don't be sorry." Captain said. There was another moment of silence. "Why don't you take the day off, liv?"  
"No, I can't I got work to do and I-"  
"Liv, the work will still be here when you get back." Captain looked at Brian. "Do you have to work today?"  
"No," He looked over at Olivia. "I was planning on staying home today." He smiled. "Come home with me and we'll do whatever you want, ok honey?"  
"Okay, I'll like that." She smiled and scooted closer to Brian, "Bye cap." She said, they both turned and walked towards the door.  
"Liv?" Captain called after her. She turned around, her hand still enclosed in Brian's. "Congratulations." He said. Olivia gave him a small smile.  
"Thank you." She mouthed.

When Olivia and Brian went back to his apartment, she went straight to the couch and laid down. Brian entered the living room, with 2 bottled waters, he gave Olivia one and then went to sit down on the chair so Olivia would have her space.  
"No, babe." Olivia said. "Come lay with me." Brian hesitantly walked over to the couch. "Bri- its okay," She patted the empty space next to her and smiled. He gave her a big grin and laid down next to her, she rested her head on his chest and let out a content sigh. He kissed the top of her head, and gently rubbed her back, everyone was silent for a moment.  
"I love you so much, Bri." She finally broke the silence. She looked up and stared at his face, she lifted her head up and kissed him lightly on the lips, but then quickly pulled away. "Sorry- I, thats all i could manage." Brian slowly sat up.  
"Hey, baby. Don't be sorry. It ok, whenever you're ready..."  
"I miss feeling you on my lips. I miss you touching me without me flinching." She sighed. "I just miss you." Tears fell from her eyes.  
"Liv, I know this is hard for you, but I am not going anywhere and you can always count on me to pick you up when you're feeling down." He wiped the tear from her face, she blinked hard. "I love you so, so, so much. And you will get through this, honey. I promise you." She gave him a smile.  
"I love you." She said nestling her head in his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for such a short chapter!**

"Liv?" Brian asked, walking into his apartment. He threw his keys on the table.  
"I'm in here." She yelled back. Brian followed the voice to the bedroom. Olivia stood in front of the mirror in just her bra and a pair of leggings. She stared at the bruises that stretches across her torso. They were faded but still visible, a tear fell down her cheek.  
"I'm so ugly." She said quietly. "The bruises. The scars. Its so ugly." She looked over at him. "I'm so ugly."  
"Olivia..." Brian's heart broke for her, he slowly stepped forward but she held up her hand.  
"Please." She said slowly. "I just need a moment" Brian stepped back, he tried so hard to fight the tears that were gathering in his eyes. She looked over at him and tried to smile. "I'll be out in a minute." She said quietly.  
"Okay, honey." Brian sat down on the couch in the living room. Meanwhile, Olivia stared at her reflection in the mirror, her little belly was starting to become more visible, but the scars and bruises didn't make it pleasant to look at. Another sob escaped her mouth when the terrible images crawled back into her mind. His face, his horrible, mean, and angry face flashed through her mind. She collapsed on the floor in tears.  
"Liv." Brian came running in. He gently wrapped her in his arms. She was trembling. "It's alright baby. I'm right here. You're safe now." He whispered, slightly rocking her back and forth.  
"I- I can't." She stuttered. "I can't do this." A sob escaped her mouth and she looked up at Brian. "I ca-"  
"Ssssshhh." Brian said, putting his finger to her lips. "You can. You can keep fighting this. But you know what you can't keep doing?" His voice softened. "You can't keep fighting in silence. You need to talk to me. And if you cant talk to me, talk to a therapist. Please Liv." He felt a lump form in his throat. "Please." A tear fell from his eye.  
"Okay." She whispered. "Okay. I'll go talk to someone."  
"Thank you." He kissed the top of her head. "And you're beautiful." Olivia slowly stood up and looked back at her reflection, silence filled the room.  
"I want a haircut." She sighed. "I need a haircut."  
"We'll go to the salon later, okay?" Brian said, standing behind her. She smiled at him through the mirror.  
"I love you."  
"And I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia sat down on the couch across from the therapist, it was the 3rd time in 2 weeks that she had been but she still hadn't told him what happened to her. She was too nervous. Too haunted by the memories, but after a pep talk from Brian, she finally felt ready. Although, she hinted about what happened to her, Brian still didn't know the full story.  
"So, Olivia, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Prescott took a seat in his chair and opened his notebook.  
"I uh- I'm ready." She said quietly, ignoring the question. "I'm ready to tell you... about what happened." She looked up at him, his glasses were on the edge of his nose and he was just staring at her. Waiting for her to proceed. She took a deep breath. "A few weeks ago, a perp by the name of-" She paused and swallowed hard. "His name was Will- William... Lewis." She let out a breath, she could feel the tears burn in her eyes. "He had a reputation of um beating and torturing women..." a tear fell from her eyes "And then he would rape them." She grabbed the tissues from the table and wiped a tear away. "Anyways, Lewis was brought to court, but he was let go... twice." Olivia shut her eyes and stay silent.  
"Olivia, if its too-"  
"No, Doctor. I need to do this." She took a deep breath and looked up at him. "The night he was released, I went home to find him in my apartment... with a gun." Olivia leaned back on the couch with her hands over her face. "He, uh- he tor... tortured me for a day or so at my apartment," She closed her eyes, a tear fell down her cheek. "He burned me," Her voice got low. "He drugged me, tied me to a chair, he-" She looked up at the doctor. Her face was ghostly, as if she was living it all over again. "He got me drunk. I- I blanked out after that and all I remember is sitting in the chair, negotiating with him..." She paused. "But nothing was working, then he made me listen to a voicemail, that my boyfriend left me." Olivia shuttered, thinking about that voicemail, and how helpless she felt, she remembered thinking what the her last words to Brian were_ "I gotta go into work today," he kissed her, but his eyes were on the tv. "Call me when you get a chance." He muttered as she walked away. "Okay."_ Olivia hated herself, for not telling him how much she loved him on that day. "The voicemail was Brian telling me he had to pick up a double shift at work so he couldn't see me." Olivia wiped a tear from her eye. "My heart shattered." She stayed silent for moment, just staring at the wall.  
"Olivia, what happened next?" said in a low, quiet voice. She looked up at him and blew her noise.  
"Um, I- I don't remember, he knocked me out." She sighed. "But when I woke up, I wasn't at my apartment. I could smell the beach, I could hear the waves." She stopped looked up. "It's crazy because the ocean is suppose to symbolize strength and thats the one emotion I didn't feel." She paused and let a tear escape her eye. "I wasn't strong."  
"That's not true." Dr. Prescott cut in. "You're strong, Olivia. And you made it this far you can go the rest of the way." He watched Olivia grab a tissue off of the end table. There was a long moment of silence, she just sat there taking in his words.  
"Um, doctor?" She asked quietly.  
"Yes?"  
"Can I bring in Brian to here the rest? I uh- I just need him here." She moved the hair from her face. "And I still haven't told him what happened in that beach house either, besides the fact that i was-" She stuttered. "uh... raped." That word cut her like a knife.  
"If it helps you and makes you feel more comfortable, then yes, Brian can come in." Olivia smiled and slowly walked towards the waiting room. Brian shot up when he saw her.  
"Hey, baby. You ready?"  
"Uh no, actually, I want you to come in and listen to this." She reached her hand out and tried to smile. Brian took her hand and followed her back into the room. They sat down on the couch and everyone was silent for a moment.  
"So, Olivia, did you tell Brian why you brought him in here?" The doctor said, breaking the silence. Olivia looked up at him then at Brian.  
"Uh well, I wanted you to hear what happened at the beach house."  
"but you already told me-"  
"I didn't tell you everything baby. I only told you what I thought I could handle at the time." She lightly squeezed his hand. "But I think I'm ready for you to hear the whole story, if you want to hear it..." She swallowed hard and the tears welled up in her eyes.  
"If you feel like you need me to hear this, then I'll listen." He talked quietly. Olivia smiled through the tears.  
"As I was saying, I remember arriving at the beach house, my head was spinning, my body ached, and I could barely see straight. The first thing he did was-" She took a deep breath. "He tied me to the bed." She leaned back on the couch, Brian wrapped his arm around her and gently rubbed her arm. "He took off my shirt." She let out another breath. "An- and he burned me. Again. Then, he laid next to me, and played with my hair, and he-" Olivia stopped and buried her head in her hands. "He- he, touched me in places I did not want to be touched." She let out a cry.  
"Liv..." Brian slowly said. Olivia leaned into his arms.  
"No, I need to do this, Bri." She looked up at him, " I've been keeping so much from you, and I need you to trust me again."  
"Baby, I never stopped trusting you."  
"But you never tell me anything anymore."  
"That's because you've been through so much, and I didn't want to burden you." Brian gently rubbed her arm. "But I'll start telling you things, if it means you'll be more open about how you're feeling, because I know when you say 'your fine' you aren't. And it breaks my heart, baby. I can't stand to see you like this."  
"You're right." She wiped a tear from her eye. "I have to open up. I need to let you in." She gave him a sad smile, and rested her head on his shoulder. They both looked at the doctor.  
"Olivia, would you like to continue telling Brian what happened?" Dr. Prescott asked. Olivia stared at him for a moment and shrugged.  
"I'm tired.." She finally muttered. "Maybe next session." She looked up at Brian and squeezed his hand, implying she was ready to leave. They both stood up and walked out of the doctors office. Olivia had one hand on her growing baby bump, and the other was cupped in Brian's. She let out a content sigh and got into the car.


End file.
